We Need to Talk

If I ran for President of the United States, I could be sure of two votes, one vote for me, and one against. My younger brother, who thinks like I think and agrees with me on most issues, would vote for me. My older brother, for whom I have as much brotherly love, respect, and esteem, would not vote for me. This brother and I disagree on politics and basic social and economic issues. I know this, because every time the three of us get together, about twice a year, we talk about these issues.

Did I say talk? Let me say that again. We argue. We speak loudly, listen carefully, and laugh a lot, until we've exhausted several conversations by respectfully disagreeing and Midnight is long gone and it's time to think about making the morning pot of coffee.

          Arguing with your brothers is one thing, but I enjoy hearing just about anybody talk about their views, and I like sharing mine. My wonderful sister-in-law is another person with whom I like to discuss important issues. Religion, politics, child-rearing, life, the universe, and everything, Amy was raised to have strong opinions and to stand behind them, just like me, and while we agree sometimes and disagree other times, these conversations are rich and wonderful.

           I went to college with a girl with whom it would have been easy to fall in love. She was kind, she was pretty, she was smart, and she was ambitious. But when it came to conversation, she fell way short. Very soon after meeting her she told me that she loves to talk to people, but she has two rules about conversation: "I won't talk about religion, and I won't talk about politics." On the other hand, she did like to talk about celebrities, and she liked gossip. We didn't talk much after that.

          Donald Murray, a writer from New Hampshire, was a great proponent of good conversation. He wrote about how we really get to know one another when we sit across from the table and talk. He wrote that it's only possible to fall in love with somebody after you've exchanged stories. I couldn't agree more. My wife's stories are some of my most prized possessions in this world, especially when she tells them and starts to laughing. It's a good time, let me tell you.

           In the last weeks of this current presidential campaign (I'm not on the ballot, by the way), there is much to talk about. No matter who takes office, it will be a historic event for our country, and we are all witness to it. More than that, we are participants in it. As citizens of this country we should take some responsibility to think about the issues, form an opinion, and make an informed choice. It's hard to be a flag-waving defender of Democracy if you don't actually participate in Democracy by educating yourself and taking time to vote for the candidate you support. There is no shame in talking with people about your views on the issues of this election, even if you support different candidates; in fact, there is something very American about it.

         For some reason conversation has become another kind of competition for people, and I think that's why many people prefer to stay away from the thorny topics of religion and politics. Conversations are not win or lose events, no matter what the television makes them out to be. Debates are not about beating somebody into submission by agreement, but rather about sharing views. It's actually possible to disagree with somebody, and to be enriched by them at the same time, because you've heard a different way of seeing things, or you've gotten to know somebody better, or you've walked a short distance in their shoes.

       While I currently have no plans to run for president, I do have plans to participate fully in this presidential campaign, by watching the news and televised events, by reading the paper, and by sharing with others, friends, co-workers, family, whomever, about how I see the issues. And I plan to listen to them carefully. And when the election is over, I plan to get ready for the holidays and one of the annual gatherings of Harbaugh brothers. No matter what happens in the next three months, some great conversation is just around the corner.

Note: This blog post is from a series originally published as personal essays written for the Van Buren County Advertiser from 2008-2014 by Corey Harbaugh under the title It's All Good. The It's All Good columns were written to feature and celebrate life in and around Gobles, Michigan.